You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
