You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
