between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
