He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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