Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
