I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize