No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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