found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
