I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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