So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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