butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
