He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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