listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
