I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
