take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize