i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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