One girl and one boy is just not enough.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
