I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
