My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
