Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
