Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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