it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
