so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
