jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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