my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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