You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
