Im at strip club and am horny
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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