2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
