Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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