I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize