I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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