In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
