my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize