just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
