Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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