i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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