This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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