just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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