I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
