White coat. Heels.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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