Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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