Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
