Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
