Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
