this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The power of my boobs compel you
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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