I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize