I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
