no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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