I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
