Where is the hickey?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
