I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
