HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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