i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
