i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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