love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
