if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
