My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
