you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
