'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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