weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
