Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
