Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
