have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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